What’s the original purpose of dating? Essentially dating is designed so two people can get to know one another before they decide if they’re interested in spending the rest of their life together.
Of course, other people date for fun, to use people, or to cope with their insecurity and a host of other reasons. But, the pure purpose is to get to know the other person on a deep and romantic level.
And the big three umbrellas that drive dating success or failure is the chemistry of the other individual’s 1) personality, 2) goals or dreams, and 3) values with your own.
But, how well do you know your own personality, dreams, and values? If I asked you to describe your personality, dreams, and values, could you? Often times the answer is unfortunately no.
This is because young adults spend so much time doing what they think they should do based on tradition, their parents, their friends, or other influences, and leave little time for themselves.
Here’s my opinion. Since we established that you date others to know if they might be the one you spend the rest of your life with. So, it’s not crazy to date yourself to understand your interests and desires because you have to spend the rest of your life with yourself, right?
The Biggest Advantage Of Dating Yourself
I used to struggle with not knowing my future plans until I went on dates with myself. For example, I had this idea in college that I needed to go to Harvard Law School and become a big shot lawyer. Once that idea stuck, I spent almost every waking hour over my first three college years either thinking about law school or putting in the work to have a perfect GPA, rec letters, and resume.
I didn’t reflect on why I wanted law school so bad and if this decision had my best interests in mind.
However, it was not until I went on dates with myself during my senior year of college did I learn key insights. I got to know my personality, goals, and values on a deep level, simply by giving my brain the time and space to reflect outside of the craziness of life.
Only then did it become crystal clear that I actually wouldn’t enjoy the lifestyle of a lawyer. So I changed my paths and it’s one of the best decisions of my life, all thanks to spending intentional alone time.
That’s my example, but the point holds true for you. If you’re doing something with no rhyme or reason, then you put yourself in jeopardy of not doing work that aligns with who you are and what you want. Meaning your work and your internal-self will constantly conflict. Or you won’t know what you want to do right now and in the future.
But, if you go on dates with yourself to unleash who you are and what motivates you, then you’ll have a good idea of what you want to do and what you don’t.
Even more than that blessing, you will also gain the freedom and peace to go 100% into that next venture without any regrets holding you back. That’s a great feeling, trust me.
How To Date Yourself
I’m calling it dating yourself because I want to, but realistically this is simply any activity where you spend intentional time alone with your thoughts.
These are some activities I’ve done alone, and what you can do to date yourself:
- Go to the movies
- Request a table for one at a restaurant
- People watch in a public area
- Get lost reading a book at a local coffee shop or library
- Take a hike through a forest or mountain
- Walk on the beach
- Lay in a hammock looking at the sky’s clouds or stars
- Travel by yourself for a weekend
- Clear your mind with a night drive
And I only scratched the surface with this list. There are endless possibilities to enjoy time with yourself and learn your core interests. Get creative with it!
Encouraging Send Off
So go hang out with yourself in private or public. If it’s public, then give yourself a free pass to not care what the world thinks. (Plus, odds are that you will think people notice your date with yourself to a much higher degree than they actually are.)
After reading this, if the thought of going on a date with yourself is completely weird to you, then I’m more convinced you need to try it.
And while you’re dating yourself, don’t forget to do the most important part: let your internal thoughts move toward honest discovery and reflection.
I have to run though, I have a hot date with myself.
Readers, have you ever thought about dating yourself? Does doing anything alone make you uncomfortable? What other thoughts do you have about this?